I'M MADELINE KAHN

I'm tired.  Some friends and I were laughing about that absolute genius scene in "Blazing Saddles"...that's how I've approached life.  Find a way to make it funny.

I'm truly tired.  I've never gone on a trip that hasn't involved work.  I've had one "vacation" where I stayed home for 2 weeks during the Christmas holidays back in the late 80's when I worked for the county court.  I spent the time working on music for my other job and cleaning.  That was my big vacation of a lifetime.

I will demand vacation time this year but I don't know what I'm going to do with it.  I wish I had a lot of followers because then I'd do some sort of contest with great ideas.

I hate Vegas, I don't gamble, I am too fat to appear in public in a swimming suit so anything on a beach is out of the question and then, my husband is on location somewhere between Louisiana and Texas.  I'm too embarrassed about how fat I am to go to a spa because I know fucking well that those people talk amongst themselves after and I can only imagine how they laugh at how disgusting some of the clients are and I would definitely be one of the points of ridicule.

I would like to go somewhere and disappear.  Fade into the life of the people in some distant place and not worry about anything else.  But how in the world could I do that?  Who will take care of things?  I'm the go to person for everything.

I'm tired.  Since so very few people read this, I can safely say that if you happen upon this post, chalk it up to the fact that I have nowhere else to go with my bitching.  Nowhere to rant so I send it out to the universe.  If any of you have a great idea, all you out there in the netherlands, send it to me.   In the meantime, I'm painting the front door tomorrow for Mother's Day.  My gift to me.  Somebody's got to do it, it looks like crap.