IT'S TIME

I rehearsed a song that I used to do as a matter of course in my sets and then had to rest for a ridiculous amount of time.  This National Jewish better live up to its name because this breathing thing has me at the ends of my patience.  I want to take a deep breath!

It has, of course, given me new empathy for people with breathing disorders...takes one to know one...I have odd moments when I can take a full breath, which I used to take as a matter of life.  Again and again, I am reminded that every single moment and everything that happens in the course of a day is a miracle.  I just have to figure out a way to avoid wasting this miracle.

I just watched an old Nora Ephron movie that I forgot about..."My Blue Heaven" with Steve Martin and Rick Moranis...I LOVE THIS MOVIE!!  Vinnie is Rocket and it's just full of love and fun and I forgot about worrying for a moment.

I have a voice that keeps telling me that no matter how much I do, it's not enough.  I actually know that this is true because I really believe that I'm supposed to do something with a kid's choir and I haven't figured out how to do it.  I wish I had followers because they could possibly help me.

I think I should be clocking out at 5 and at a community center by 6 or 6:30 with a bunch of kids who I teach to sing and create and then we go and do concerts.  Like what was done for me when I was in high school.  That group of singers saved me.

I'm sick and I'm tired and I know part of it is true disease but I think that part of it is not having a reason to live.  A reason to pull every ounce of passion I have out of my old, tired, sick, fat body into showing up just once more.

I need someone to help me do this. If ever the times called for it, it is now.  Perhaps it is my time.  Followers or not, I have to figure out a way to do this. I still have the heart of a true believer.  Maybe it's just time I show it.