THE TIMELINE OF GRIEF

I have been thinking about all the friends and family I have lost in the last few months.  It's strange how one can miss people who have been absent from your life.  I think it's because you grew accustomed to the fact that they were there...whether you attended your rose or not.

I'm referencing, of course, "The Little Prince."  How he put his rose in a glass globe and attended all of its needs, regardless the reward.  The reward was in the tending.

Conversely, there are those who really don't want to think of these things...I have been told by a family member that she distinctly does not want my "preaching" as regards bringing peace into our lives and forgiving.  I have to accept that as well.

Everyone has their own process of grieving and dealing with what life brings to us.  I have to accept the fact that I am not in charge of how others grieve...or how they deal with loss.  While I cry and try to lift up good memories, some people have to work through years of anger before they can even get to a good memory.

And so it goes.  I've lost a brother and a lot of friends in the past few months.  Today, mid-afternoon, Jimmy came over very cheerful and upbeat and I told him that I didn't know why but I just had this feeling of pervading sadness.  I think it all caught up to me.

I will do my minute for the world tomorrow.  No matter what the loss I feel tonight, friends whom I have loved and lost, it can't compare with the hurt around the world.  I won't minimize my feeling but to spend a few moments in silent reflection for those whose loss I can't even comprehend will, I believe, help to bring about a healing.

In the meantime, to the world who will never read this I still know you are out there and I send my love.  I am but a moment's sunlight fading on the grass.  In that context, let my sunlight send love to the universe.  I am not perfect...but I keep trying.